What Your Method of Cannabis Consumption Says About You
Are you a rig ruler? A fried piper? Or a dab pen dabbler? Graphic by Ryan Kamber.
Cannabis users are like snowflakes, no two are the same. Some have been indulging for years, others — not so much. Some use three times a day, others three times a month. While some enjoy ripping bongs, others might prefer something a little more low-key, like a one-hitter.
So, are all forms of consumption created equal? That honestly depends on the person. Here at Emerald, we don’t make any judgments. But we do make suggestions.
Without further ado, here is what we propose a consumer’s preferred method of consumption says about them.
The Joint/Blunt Roller
Some joint or blunt rollers are artists. They consider themselves to be the Leonardo Da Vinci of rolling. Every paper is their canvas; and every little pack, fold, and twist is their brushstroke. Every completed joint, blunt, or spliff is their Mona Lisa.
Every time they meet someone who declares themselves the best in town, the joint or blunt roller feels the need to put those claims to the test. There’s no harm in a little competition, it’s not like any spectators will complain about free blunts.
Justin Bajor, a self-proclaimed blunt artist from Crofton, Maryland, takes great pride in his rolling abilities. “[….] My skills will always be in demand,” he says, “[you] always need a good roller around.”
Obviously, he’s very confident in the quality of his blunts. But what makes Bajor’s better than anyone else’s? “Each one is rolled with the care and attention it deserves,” he tells Emerald.
The Bong Ripper
The bong ripper often considers themselves a veteran when it comes to smoking. In their years of experience, they’ve gained a great deal of wisdom and an even greater deal of tolerance.
Bong rippers want the best bang for their buck. They see more communal methods like blunts and joints as a ceremonial waste of bud. Always quick to point out the amount that burns while being passed around the rotation, they’d much rather pack a few bowls and maximize what little flower they have left.
Whether the bong is ripped in the morning, after work, before bed, or all of the above, this glass piece aficionado has peace of mind that their money is not going to waste.
The Rig Ruler
The rig ruler, much like the bong ripper, is another hardened veteran in terms of cannabis consumption. Where the two differ, however, is that regular flower is no longer enough to satisfy the rig ruler’s sophisticated palette.
Money is not an object for dab rig users. Is wax expensive? Yes. Nevertheless, one can’t put a price on quality. Straight THC is pretty much the only thing that can get the rig ruler high at this point. They might say they’re considering a t-break to save some money and lower their sky-high tolerance. But everyone knows that this dedicated dabber takes no days off.
It’s always nice to know a rig ruler, as many are kind enough to offer dabs for a small fee. For the lucky few able to snag a few pulls, it’s a special occasion. For the rig ruler, it’s just a regular Sunday.
The Edible Popper
The edible popper is either very experienced or taking a major risk.
A seasoned stoner probably has a few of these stocked up for a rainy day. They might be pretty bored with a good amount of time to kill, or they might be running low on bud. Some edible poppers don’t even use flower, as they’d much rather protect their lungs.
The inexperienced edible popper plays a game of Russian Roulette, as low tolerance can make for either a fun time or a disastrous ordeal. But that depends on how strong the edible is and how much of it they eat.
Anyone who has tried edibles before is likely to have a story or two about a time they or a friend took more than they should have. Tales of panic attacks, existential crises, and early bedtimes in public places are aplenty when it comes to the inexperienced edible popper. So it’s of the utmost importance that they know the risks going into the experience.
The Fried Piper
The fried piper very well may be in the early stages of stoner-dom. What started as just a joint with some friends a few months ago has become part of their weekly, or even daily routine. When lighting up with friends is no longer enough, the developing cannabis smoker goes out and buys a small piece of their own.
A simple pipe is a great starting point for the uninitiated, as it requires much less maintenance, setup, and cleaning than a typical bong. Perfect for late-night sessions right before bed, the pipe smoker appreciates the simplicity of the process and the relaxing alone time that comes with it.
That’s not to say that all who prefer pipes are new to the game. While countless cannabis smokers graduate to bongs and dab rigs, the bowl smoker is perfectly satisfied keeping things quaint. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, right?
The One-hit Wonder
The one-hitter user’s priorities lie with convenience more than anything else. Sure a bong might get them higher, but can they whip a bong out in the middle of the street without drawing any attention to themselves? The simple answer is no.
The one-hit wonder is always ready to blaze. They think that being prepared is just as good as being high.
Friends that prefer more excessive methods of consumption will probably make fun of the little contraption. But that’s their loss. They can crack jokes all they want because on a night out when the one-hit wonder is the only one with bud, suddenly their tiny device is just as good as their friend’s bong.
The Dab Pen Dabbler
There’s convenience, and then there’s this. There’s a high chance that the dab pen dabbler’s main priority is concealment. Whether they’re at a relative’s house, a restaurant, or even in the classroom, they see the world as their smoke spot.
Dabblers might be with parents, relatives, or a partner that either doesn’t know about or doesn’t support their cannabis indulgences. Dab pen users see it as mutually beneficial if they just take their rips in secret. Dab pens still smell a bit, but dabblers will say that there’s nothing that Febreze can’t mask. They may be wrong. But as they always tell themselves, ignorance is bliss!
Now, this isn’t the case with every dab pen dabbler, as it’s also a very common starting point for first-time users who see it as a less daunting alternative to flower.
That said, pay attention to fellow stoners at family gatherings, or during smoke sessions — are they Fried Pipers? One-hit Wonders? Rig Rulers? Sure, each cannabis user is different in their own way. But, they’ve all got more in common than meets their high.
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